“Illness is an opportunity for growth.” Dr. Mehmet Oz

I was listening to the NPR show Caron recommended featuring the prominent heart surgeon Dr. Mehmet Oz earlier this morning. A timely piece, it was refreshing to hear a doctor exploring other root causes for illness beyond those we can test traditionally. His stories brought be back to a recent session with friend and healer Dianna McPhail.

Dianna is helping me step back into my body after a long absence using horses as therapy. We were standing at the gate looking out at a herd of mares grazing in the distance while I took the time to “scan” my body. What I discovered was a dissonance between my left side and right and when this occurred, when I felt one side trying to move forward and the other holding back, my heart began beating its horribly irregular pattern. I felt dizzy, weak and short of breath.

This moment helped me recognize there’s more going on than what is evident at the surface. One half of me is ready to leap forward into my life and the other half still doesn’t feel so great, is slightly sluggish and cynical. And really, I’ve always been a good combination of the two – it’s like I’ve sat still for too long and my sediments have separated. All these tests, appointments and attention to my health may be shaking things up enough that these elements of my former self are once again uniting to form something of my old identity with elements of a newly emerging, stronger self.

Our transitions into new phases of our lives are never without some ugliness. Think about the butterfly emerging from within the withering cocoon. It takes a while before the butterfly may fly, but when she finally takes flight, it’s a joyous reunion of desire and dream.