I saw my oncologist on Monday.  He did the usual bloodwork and checked me for lumps and bumps and whatnot.  It’s in his job description to ask me about all that’s been happening and he agreed he didn’t think it was the lymphoma.  He said most doctors will tend to blame symptoms on the lymphoma from now on, but there weren’t any real signs of the cancer having returned.  All that said, he thought it best to do a CT scan on friday as he put it, “to take the lymphoma card off the table.”

I love this man.  He’s an amazing doctor – he’s a puzzle guy – likes to fit the peices together.  Dr. K is still the only doctor I trust right now and when he said he didn’t think the cancer was back, and going on my gut reaction, there’s no cancer ’round these parts.

So, I didn’t hear back on my blood work and “no news is no news,” to quote Dr. K again. And my EEG and MRI were clear, so I decided to cancel my appointment with the neurologist and then I made the decision to cancel my CT scan.  This felt incredibly GOOD.  I called up and said, “Dr. K and I both agree we don’t think the cancer is back and he would have normally pushed the test back, and I don’t want all of those chemcials in my body when I don’t feel it’s even necessary, so I’d like to cancel for friday.”

They still have to get an okay from my doctor, but it felt so empowering to call off the dogs.  I’ll still see my cardiologist because I need his okay to drive again.  He wants to start me on a beta blocker, but my blood pressure yesterday was 88/55 (left arm) and runs normally about 90/60 (right).   Pretty balanced, but low enough that I’m concerned about taking medication that might lower it further.

I’ve added a new category called “Living” which will eventually replace “Surviving Cancer.”  Every day I’m alive from this day forward, I’ll be surviving cancer, so it doesn’t really need it’s own category any longer.  It’s time to move on to living.

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