I’m sick. Downright sick. This is putting a huge damper on everything from mothering, homeschooling, running to preparations for next week’s ridiculously large feast for all of our TC relatives.

The first thing that pops into my head is, I should go to the doctor. Unfortunately, the next thought reminds me that it is difficult to get an emergency doctor visit same day with my current physician (though I’ll try) and our insurance doesn’t cover Urgent Care visits.

Now that I think about it, while I’m making payments to the local hospital on top of insurance premiums and deductibles, the end tally seems always to be growing. CT Scans, U/S, MRIs, etc are only covered up to 90%, which is pretty darn good, but that also means around $300-500 isn’t covered. For a gal getting 4+ type scans per year and ten or more in the last year, that 10% adds up quickly. Consequently, I’m refusing tests for the next several months. Is this wise for a cancer survivor?

Today’s visit alone will cost me (out of pocket) between $30+ to $75+ depending on which physician will be available and medication-related costs. Not bad, considering, but then again, I do have some of the best health insurance offered in this country. They charge us and our company large sums of money to cover me and in turn pay out a 10th of what we would have to pay out of pocket (I know this because I’ve paid for several scans out of pocket and compared).

So last night I asked Erick to rent Sicko because I’ve long wondered how to reconcile with how rich this nation is compared to how well our nation’s poorest are covered. In the film, Michael Moore, eloquently examines and compares our health care system with systems in other countries with socialized medicine. He dispels many of the myths Americans have about health-care in countries like France, Britain, and even (oh, my) Cuba. These countries place a huge emphasis on preventative care. Their birthing rooms are set up for labor success, more like birthing centers or home, than hospital. People are reimbursed in some countries for their travel to and from the hospital. And everyone laughs at the poor, dopey American who wanders around asking the same question over and over, “How much does this cost you?”

Sicko is a tightly-wooven rhtorical question and answer film about how our country might adopt policies to cover all Americans equally, always, under any circumstances.

Even during my treatments, when I felt my absolute worst, I was fielding questions about how I would pay for my stay. I knew, even while fighting for my life, there was a larger battle looming. I was covered for radiation therapy one minute and then post-treatment, they rejected the original claim. That was the difference between a $10,000 balance and a $28,000 balance and sadly, I considered myself lucky.

I’m moving to France.