For about a week now, I’ve been feeling this lump just beneath the hinge of my jaw. It’s movable, painless, and more solid than I would like, but it’s also small enough that I’m going to wait until my next appointment with the new oncologist to have it checked.

I haven’t mentioned it to anyone, not even Erick, until last night when he saw it and asked about it. It worried me that he could see it. He said it made my jawline look pointy.

Last night I had a dream about the cancer returning, but this morning the lump seems smaller, so I’m less concerned. I remember Dr. K telling me that from this point on, I’ll likely be hyper-sensitive to any lumps, bumps, bruises or node-swelling. He’s absolutely correct. This time around, however, I feel a bit of denial for if the cancer did return, my treatment options are limited and grueling.

I don’t think the cancer has returned, but the worries occasionally resurface.