Tag Archive: Dreams


Swept up in the current

I still keep track of my dreams on another blog.  I use the blog as a reference and don’t normally encourage people to read it, but last night I had the strangest dream about being dead.  If you’re interested, please visit My Life in Dreams.

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The old farm house on some acreage turned out to be a structural nightmare in the wait right across from a gas station.  Not exactly my dream, but the latest disappointment spurred a discussion between husband, realtor and I about what it is we want from a property in Charlotte.  We concluded we would like to have land and an old house in which to put down roots, but the fact remains, by Charlotte’s standards, we’re not in the financial position to find what we want.  The next best thing involves temporary thinking with long-term goal-setting.  I ran a search of houses priced below $200K near Charlotte, but with some yard.  Some are bank-owned, some are just older and in need of minor updates and a few are new, but small.  All will house a family our size for the next few years and will likely sell for more than what we pay (which will be nice for a change).  In the meantime, we will pad our savings and hopefully in a few years, I’ll have my book published, Erick will have moved up and we’ll be in a financial position to revisit property back home in Michigan.  Or maybe, we’ll do some traveling.  Whichever, we’ll need to fund our dreams with something a bit more concrete than wishful thinking.  

Imperfection

For about a week now, I’ve been feeling this lump just beneath the hinge of my jaw. It’s movable, painless, and more solid than I would like, but it’s also small enough that I’m going to wait until my next appointment with the new oncologist to have it checked.

I haven’t mentioned it to anyone, not even Erick, until last night when he saw it and asked about it. It worried me that he could see it. He said it made my jawline look pointy.

Last night I had a dream about the cancer returning, but this morning the lump seems smaller, so I’m less concerned. I remember Dr. K telling me that from this point on, I’ll likely be hyper-sensitive to any lumps, bumps, bruises or node-swelling. He’s absolutely correct. This time around, however, I feel a bit of denial for if the cancer did return, my treatment options are limited and grueling.

I don’t think the cancer has returned, but the worries occasionally resurface.