Tag Archive: Fatigue


It’s really challenging dealing with fatigue.  It’s not a symptom that’s obvious on the exterior.  I can fake feeling good in public, but the feelings of inadequacy that gather internally become evident after a short while.  Emotionally, it’s a huge drain trying to keep things going while every muscle feels twice its weight and your shoulders slope forward out of weakness.  I had a doctor once tell me fatigue causes your body to fold in on itself.   I felt like a flower at the end of its life; each petal curling inward.

I think that’s the trouble with fatigue – the failure to see improvements after a few days, makes the sufferer very weary of getting up in the morning.  And this feeds into a blanket of depression feeding the fatigue.  Erick was my hero- taking me out to the park last evening as way for me to reconnect with nature.  I was still tired, but immediately I noticed an improvement in my outlook.  Today is much improved and I’m realizing the importance of finding ways to cope with stress.  One of the driving factors in my three horrible days was my inability to cope with any of it accompanied by my stubbornness in acknowledging how just bad I felt.  

It’s hard going through treatments for cancer, and some of the lasting effects are equally as difficult to manage.  I think the key is to know how to manage stress – what brings pleasure into your life?  What allows you to relax and heal?  And remembering it takes real strength (not the physical kind) to recognize what needs to be fixed and to set out for a solution.  There’s nothing weak about that.

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Things are really heating up here in the south.  I’ve heard it rumored that running in the summer air down here is like swimming.  Only underwater, you try not to breathe – outside, you haven’t a choice. It’s a challenge to get enough air right now, but I think this will only help in the long run (pardon the pun). 

I’m amazed at all the support coming in via email and comments regarding the upcoming fund-raising and half-marathon and all I can say is **Thank-you!**  It means a whole heck of a lot to see both friends and strangers reach out with encouragement.  Agreeing to run a marathon is not an easy decision and in this case it’s compounded by the fund-raising goal.  I’m in a new town where I know very few people and I’m not a natural runner.  As with the cancer-battle, this isn’t an act of physical endurance as much it is pure determination.      

This morning, near the end of my run, I thought about the people I’ve met who’ve inspired me.  Thinking of them took away the awareness of my fatigue and allowed me to make one more stride after one more stride until I crossed the imaginary finish-line.  Out of breath from trying to breathe in the thick air, I thought to myself, only twelve more miles to go!  Right now it doesn’t seem possible, but with each stride I’m a little closer to my end goal.  And as a team of mothers and fathers; sisters and brothers; husbands and wives and children; taking on this disease and running full tilt toward a cure; stride by stride, we’re that much closer to our goal for a cure.  

Tomorrow, Celli and I are walking for a cure for human and canine cancers: The 2008 Dogs Walk Against Cancer.  Lymphoma is a common cancer for dogs, so we’re proud to be taking part in an event to raise money and awareness for we two-leggers and our four-legged friends.

Thank-you again for your support!

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